National Fertility Week
Fertility may always be tough to talk about. From the monthly grieving process to feelings of failure, you and your relationship are tested.
I was very open to begin with. Then the months turned into a year. We decided to adopt. We had spoken about it on our first date, it was something we both wanted. I continued to speak openly about our journey. Then we were turned down for adoption and my heart was broken.
I stopped talking about it. Any energy I had remaining I put into our complaint against the agency and their flawed process. I didn’t want anyone else to be treated the way in which we had.
By the time the apology came I had started to turn the corner. I didn’t want another year to be consumed by wanting a baby. I wanted to feel like myself again. You get so lost in it all that you forget who you once were.
I looked at my life and saw it with and without children. I begun to see a world of possibilities. I started to feel excited for the first time in a long time. By the time we started IVF I was open to life with or without children. I was living my life and ensuring my wellbeing was my top priority.
I chose to walk my own path and I steered clear of Google and getting drawn into other people’s stories. We ended up with four embryos. Then health issues brought things to a halt once again. By this point it didn’t come as a shock to us that things weren’t going to be plain sailing.
You see, this is life. It isn’t always easy. We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes hearts are broken and dreams are dashed.
It’s important to remember that whilst many things may be out of our control, we do have control over how we respond to situations.
I choose to my live my life, with or without children. And I remain excited about all the possibilities.
I believe we all have the power within us to choose happiness. We are all superheroes and we can all live extraordinary lives that bring us fulfilment and joy, occasionally it’s just not the way we imagined.
Whatever you are going through right now, you are never alone my darling.
Fertility Week 28 Oct – 3 Nov 2019